


Tortured and the Tears

by LightLeadingMe



Category: Will & Grace
Genre: Angst, Drama, Fluff and Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-25
Updated: 2018-09-25
Packaged: 2019-07-17 14:21:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16097411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightLeadingMe/pseuds/LightLeadingMe
Summary: Little drabble taking place after "Forbidden Fruit".





	Tortured and the Tears

She had been keeping to herself for days. He observed her quietly in the doorway of the office, watching as she stared at the same page, reading the same words for the past twenty minutes. She looked tired, her body hunched over the desk rather than pin straight and proper like normal. Every now and again she would sigh, shake her head, and close her eyes for a brief moment before opening them back up to try and read again. It had been a week since he opened that door, a week since he made her reveal her darkest secret, a week since he found out that she wanted a child of her own. 

She put on a front, like she usually did, but Jack knew her too well now. Back when they took a pregnancy test together he would have never known the pain she was in, but he had only known her a few months at that time. Now, seven years later, he knew the real Karen - the woman who would stand up for anyone she loved, the woman who loved wholey, but cautiously, the woman who one night told him that she was terrified of being alone. He felt terrible for making her relive something she obviously put so much effort into hiding. His curiosity always got the best of him and he pushed too far. No matter how many times she told him it was okay, he still felt guilt settling in the pit of his stomach.

The feeling only increased as the days passed on when he realized that she was shrinking into herself. She was guarded, quiet, and faking her way through the day, giving false smiles and one word replies. Jack knew what he had to do to fix this. He couldn't let her go on like this, let her become a shell of herself. His best friend deserved happiness and to live in the present with what she has now, not what she longed for and could never achieve. He finally stepped into the room and cleared his throat as he entered.

"Morning, Kare," he greeted with a dazzling smile.

Karen lifted her eyes from her magazine and gave him a tiny smile, just one side of her lips twitching up. "Hi honey."

Jack bit his lip and watched her go back to her reading, knowing full well she had no idea what was even on the page. "Look, Kare," he began slowly. "I want to talk to you about something, but I don't want you to get mad at me."

Karen frowned, but kept her eyes down. "Honey, I could never get mad at you," she told him honestly. She had such a soft spot for him that if she was ever mad it only lasted a few hours at most, except for that time years ago when he was divorcing Rosario. 

He swallowed audibly and looked down at his shoes. "It's about last week. About the Forbidden Room..." His eyes snapped up from the floor to catch her dead stare as she flipped the magazine shut and he flinched at the harsh movement. He began to stutter, wanting to get his words out before she could lay into him, or worse, leave without saying a word at all. "I-I know you probably don't want to talk about it, especially considering how long you kept it a secret, but I think you're still closing yourself off. And-and you can't do that, Kare. You just can't. You have to feel the emotions, use them to move on. You need to let it out and be free from whatever is holding you back."

Karen stood up, shaking her head. "Look, I appreciate your concern, but I don't need you to tell me how to handle my business. I dealt with this before and I'm dealing with it again. Thanks to you."

He winced, knowing she would become defensive, but it still hurt. She was right, it was his fault he had to deal with this again, but now he knew her anguish and he was there to help her through it. "But that's just it, Karen. You're not dealing with it. You're bottling everything up and washing it down with booze, like you always do."

She scoffed and brushed past him, now standing in front of Grace's desk, her arms crossed as she paced. "What do you want me to do?" she barked. "Not all of us can just buy a pint of ice cream and pour our hearts out like some bad 80s movie. It's not that simple, Jack."

"I'm not suggesting we have a full on cry-fest," he snapped back. "I just want you to talk to me. Or Rosario, or anyone!" He grabbed her arm and stopped her pacing, looking deep into her eyes. "I can see it in your eyes, Karen. And one day it's going to hit you harder than the other days, and you're going to be alone because you pushed everyone who loves you away... because you pushed yourself away." He barely registered her bottom lip trembling before the sob escaped her.

Her walls were crumbling down around her fast as she could no longer hold them up by herself. The vision of Jack blurred and the tears were hot on her face, stinging her cheeks. Her legs became just as weak as she felt and the floor began to rise up to her quickly, but then suddenly she was hoisted into the air, saved by someone who loved her for reasons unknown. He set her on the tall desk where there surprisingly was no sketches or pencils and stood between her legs. She felt him grab her face in his hands and tilt her head up so he could stare into her eyes. 

Jack wiped her tears with the pads of his thumbs, his own emotions swimming in his eyes and threatening to fall. "Karebear, don't hide from me, from any of us. We are your friends and we love you. You don't need to suffer in silence anymore. I'm here for you."

She nodded, her lip trembling again as another small sob forced it's way out. She reached out and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her face to his shoulder as his arms encircled her waist. She just let him hold her for a while, let him breathe with her, cry with her. She let herself feel. And minutes, or maybe hours later, when she felt like she had no more tears to give, she began to talk. She talked about her desires and fears of motherhood. She explained she and Stan even tried for a while, but after the third negative test she gave up even when Stan didn't want to. She told Jack about the day she realized she was too old to conceive a child, the day she hit that stage in her life when her body would no longer be able to house another being inside. And when she was done, she looked up in fear of the judgmental eyes she was sure were directed her way, only to find love and compassion staring right back.

"There you are," Jack whispered, resting his forehead against hers. "There's the woman who has been hiding all these years. It's nice to meet _you_ , Karen." She smiled at him in what looked like relief and Jack pressed a small kiss to her nose.

He instructed her to take a few deep breaths with him and when they were done, Karen actually felt like she could breathe again, like air was finally getting into her lungs and releasing instead of just being trapped there and building up more and more each day. She felt a weight lift from her, a new sense of freedom lighting a spark that so long ago was put out. She trapped Jack in another hug, a grateful hug, whispering her appreciation, her love in his ear, and thinking that maybe she was finally moving on from something that never would become. 

_The pain you disguise, not a mirror_   
_But an open window_   
_The strings to your heart echo chords in a minor key_

 


End file.
